Here is something to think about. A great article on relationships, 2-legged or 4-legged, they all take effort.
When you are in a relationship that is frustrating you, you have a few choices:
1. Walk away—just leave it behind you and don’t look back.
2. Accept what is happening and decide to live with the consequences.
3. Try to force the other individual to change, which often leads to increased conflict.
4. Make changes in yourself in order to elicit change in the other.
1. Walk away—just leave it behind you and don’t look back.
2. Accept what is happening and decide to live with the consequences.
3. Try to force the other individual to change, which often leads to increased conflict.
4. Make changes in yourself in order to elicit change in the other.
Even when talking about you and your dog, these same rules apply. So let’s look at these options in relation to your dog.1. Walking away: Giving up is always an option, but is it best for you or your dog? Granted, not all dog-person relationships are a match, just as you wouldn’t want to marry every person you date. So, as a precursor, make sure the dog you bring home is a match for your life. Millions of dogs are abandoned each year because the person doesn’t want to take the time, money, or energy to learn how to improve things. So what happens when the next dog comes along and shows some troublesome behaviors? Do we just keep giving up, or do we take the time, energy, and effort to learn how to create successful changes?
2. Accepting what is happening and deciding to live with it: Many people learn to manage their dog’s bad behaviors by avoiding the situations that trigger them. Your life becomes limited and smaller and so does your dog’s because management controls but doesn’t teach. It’s doubtful that this is the vision you had of your life with your dog.
3. Trying to force the other individual to change: This usually leads to lots of arguments and frustration. In trying to force a dog to change, people often resort to using devices such as shock collars, choke chains, head halters, pinch collars, and other physical punishments. But in the end the dog is only being good to avoid pain, and trust, a vital part of all relationships, is lost. Without trust, the relationship will not thrive. Frustration can lead to force, but what if you could learn to improve your relationship without frustration or force? A win-win for you and your dog.
4. Making changes in yourself in order to elicit change in the other: It is not reasonable to ask someone to become a completely different person in order to have a good relationship with anyone. But there are always positive adjustments we can make in ourselves in order to create positive changes in our dogs. Dogs show us who we are and what we need to work on. Ask yourself, do you have the patience to teach your dog patience? Do you reward the behaviors that you want your dog to repeat? Are you explosive in your corrections? Do you praise enough or too much? Remember that your dog can’t be different unless you are different.
All relationships take effort, 2-legged or 4-legged. Dogs are typically very sensitive to the world around them, so you need to learn to be sensitive to your dog’s actions and reactions. When your dog understands what you expect of him and what you are asking of him, he becomes confident in his world. Your dog will respect you more and listen to you better if you follow through with your directions and are consistent in your expectations. It is when they don’t understand what you are asking that they become confused and insecure, which causes them to behave badly.
When you create a proper balance of love, trust, and respect, two powerful things happen: your dog does what you ask, and (instead of reacting to chase, bark, jump, bolt, or bite) he looks to you first for direction. A confident leader has a confident pack.
Most people don’t practice proper drills and skills to teach their dog good manners. As any good tennis player, skier, or gymnast knows, you don’t just show up for the competition and hope for the best. They practice so they are ready for what happens. In your training, you need to set your dog up for understanding and success so that you are ready for real life when it shows up.
When it comes to relationships, we are firm believers that life puts challenges in front of you so that you might learn. Perhaps the very things that are frustrating you about your dog are the very things you need to look at about yourself. You have to be willing to change what you do in order to change what your dogs does.
For more information or to make a donation:
Doug & Elizabeth Simpson
www.tenderfoottraining.com
The American Dog Magazine
Comments
Post a Comment